Soft

94 Days Post-Mastectomy
As promised, yesterday's surgery was no big deal. I was back at Mission Hospital, where I'm guessing that 7 am is the earliest scheduled slot for out-patient surgery, because there was a line of us arriving at the same time (5:30 am). I had the same pre-op bed as when I went in for the mastectomy, which was nice because it was in a room, not just curtained off from other beds. The pre-op wait was much shorter this time, as there was nothing special required (like the nuclear dye to trace sentinal nodes which I had to have the last time). After I'd been hooked up and monitored, Dr. Doezie arrived and marked up my chest. The surgery started on time and went perfectly, so Pete was told.

I have to say that it felt that the hospital didn't so much discharge me as boot me out. As soon as the nurse in Recovery noticed my eyes were open, she asked if I wanted some water - which of course I did as my throat was sore from the anesthesia tube - and within less than a minute of delivering it was asking me if I was ready to go or did I need a little more time? Since I still couldn't really keep my eyes open, I croaked out "more time". Which I got, but not much.

So, we left the hospital around 11 am, and I basically slept the rest of the day at home.

The implants are, as everyone had told me they would be, soft and pliable and not at all like the tissue expanders. I'm still not sure exactly what the final result will look like, because there's swelling all around, and of course the incisions from the first surgery were cut open again for this one, and my chest was bound up with an ace bandage, all of which contributes to the slightly squashed look I currently have. I don't know what to expect when I look in the mirror any more, with so many changes happening to my chest over the last 3 months. I confess I was afraid to take the ace bandage off and see what I look like now, because this is it (sort of)!

As far as pain goes, there is very little. I took some percocet yesterday and early this morning, as instructed, but that was it.

Today Pete had to take me back to Dr. Doezie's for a post-op appointment. He had to learn to do some simple manipulation of the implants, which is supposed to help prevent scar tissue forming and causing capsular contraction. It hurt a little bit, but the exercise only last 10 seconds on each side. It's supposed to be done twice a day for 2 months - after a couple of weeks I should be able to do it myself.

New Breasts Tomorrow

92 Days Post-Op
This past week has been so exhausting that I'm thinking they won't need anesthesia to knock me out tomorrow when I have the surgery to replace my tissue expanders with implants. In addition to various work commitments, I received a call from Dr. D's office on Monday saying that I had to have new labwork done before tomorrow's surgery. So I had to find a way to squeeze in a trip to a lab to get blood drawn and pee in a cup.

I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am for a 7:00 am surgery, but if they manage to stay on schedule, I should be home by lunchtime (it's outpatient this time). I briefly, but seriously, considered just pulling an all-nighter because I have so much STUFF to do. But I was never able to do that, even in college, so I'm off to bed next.

Thanks to Stuart and Isabelle, and of course Pete, for all the help with shows and booth preparations these past few days!

Turning Into the Homestretch

12 Weeks Post-op
This past week I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Doezie - outpatient surgery to get my silicone implants will be on June 15th.

The big (ha, ha) question is: what size? It's not as straightforward as one might think. Should I stay exactly the same as I was before? I don't think they make implants that small ;)

So here's a confession: I am going to be a bit bigger. But just a bit. My previous bra size was 36B, but I didn't fill it out (in reality I was probably a 37A). So I decided I wanted to look the same way I did when I was wearing the 36B, only without the bra. Because the implant is under muscle, not just skin, and because I'll still be a relatively small size, I won't have to wear a bra anymore (yippee).

The implants come in set sizes and are measured in milliliters. So I can have a 304 ml or 339 ml but not, for example, a 325 ml. I know of one woman whose implants are in the region of 800 ml (definitely not for me). The tissue expansion process I've been going through has helped me judge size, but it's still a guessing game because the shape of the tissue expanders is different from the shape of the implants. The expanders are designed to push straight out because their function, after all, is to stretch muscle and skin. And the implants have a little droop because their function, after all, is to mimic a breast. So 300 ml in the tissue expander sticks out a lot farther than 300 ml in a silicone implant. And then there's the fact that implants have narrow, medium and wide bases, and high, medium, and low profiles. So the same volume looks vastly different from one model to the next.

And then there's the me factor: I'm built with a broad ribcage and a wide sternum, which means that where I should have cleavage, I in fact have a valley big enough to land a jet plane.

I read a suggestion on the internet to fill a plastic bag with an equivalent amount of rice (or in my case, cous-cous) to judge your implant size. So I measured out 339 ml of cous-cous... but then what? It's comical, really, only if I choose the wrong size, it's not like I can exchange them (well, I could, but that would mean another surgery and I doubt insurance would consider "oops" a medically necessary justification).