94 Days Post-Mastectomy
As promised, yesterday's surgery was no big deal. I was back at Mission Hospital, where I'm guessing that 7 am is the earliest scheduled slot for out-patient surgery, because there was a line of us arriving at the same time (5:30 am). I had the same pre-op bed as when I went in for the mastectomy, which was nice because it was in a room, not just curtained off from other beds. The pre-op wait was much shorter this time, as there was nothing special required (like the nuclear dye to trace sentinal nodes which I had to have the last time). After I'd been hooked up and monitored, Dr. Doezie arrived and marked up my chest. The surgery started on time and went perfectly, so Pete was told.
I have to say that it felt that the hospital didn't so much discharge me as boot me out. As soon as the nurse in Recovery noticed my eyes were open, she asked if I wanted some water - which of course I did as my throat was sore from the anesthesia tube - and within less than a minute of delivering it was asking me if I was ready to go or did I need a little more time? Since I still couldn't really keep my eyes open, I croaked out "more time". Which I got, but not much.
So, we left the hospital around 11 am, and I basically slept the rest of the day at home.
The implants are, as everyone had told me they would be, soft and pliable and not at all like the tissue expanders. I'm still not sure exactly what the final result will look like, because there's swelling all around, and of course the incisions from the first surgery were cut open again for this one, and my chest was bound up with an ace bandage, all of which contributes to the slightly squashed look I currently have. I don't know what to expect when I look in the mirror any more, with so many changes happening to my chest over the last 3 months. I confess I was afraid to take the ace bandage off and see what I look like now, because this is it (sort of)!
As far as pain goes, there is very little. I took some percocet yesterday and early this morning, as instructed, but that was it.
Today Pete had to take me back to Dr. Doezie's for a post-op appointment. He had to learn to do some simple manipulation of the implants, which is supposed to help prevent scar tissue forming and causing capsular contraction. It hurt a little bit, but the exercise only last 10 seconds on each side. It's supposed to be done twice a day for 2 months - after a couple of weeks I should be able to do it myself.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
New Breasts Tomorrow
92 Days Post-Op
This past week has been so exhausting that I'm thinking they won't need anesthesia to knock me out tomorrow when I have the surgery to replace my tissue expanders with implants. In addition to various work commitments, I received a call from Dr. D's office on Monday saying that I had to have new labwork done before tomorrow's surgery. So I had to find a way to squeeze in a trip to a lab to get blood drawn and pee in a cup.
I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am for a 7:00 am surgery, but if they manage to stay on schedule, I should be home by lunchtime (it's outpatient this time). I briefly, but seriously, considered just pulling an all-nighter because I have so much STUFF to do. But I was never able to do that, even in college, so I'm off to bed next.
Thanks to Stuart and Isabelle, and of course Pete, for all the help with shows and booth preparations these past few days!
This past week has been so exhausting that I'm thinking they won't need anesthesia to knock me out tomorrow when I have the surgery to replace my tissue expanders with implants. In addition to various work commitments, I received a call from Dr. D's office on Monday saying that I had to have new labwork done before tomorrow's surgery. So I had to find a way to squeeze in a trip to a lab to get blood drawn and pee in a cup.
I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am for a 7:00 am surgery, but if they manage to stay on schedule, I should be home by lunchtime (it's outpatient this time). I briefly, but seriously, considered just pulling an all-nighter because I have so much STUFF to do. But I was never able to do that, even in college, so I'm off to bed next.
Thanks to Stuart and Isabelle, and of course Pete, for all the help with shows and booth preparations these past few days!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Turning Into the Homestretch
12 Weeks Post-op
This past week I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Doezie - outpatient surgery to get my silicone implants will be on June 15th.
The big (ha, ha) question is: what size? It's not as straightforward as one might think. Should I stay exactly the same as I was before? I don't think they make implants that small ;)
So here's a confession: I am going to be a bit bigger. But just a bit. My previous bra size was 36B, but I didn't fill it out (in reality I was probably a 37A). So I decided I wanted to look the same way I did when I was wearing the 36B, only without the bra. Because the implant is under muscle, not just skin, and because I'll still be a relatively small size, I won't have to wear a bra anymore (yippee).
The implants come in set sizes and are measured in milliliters. So I can have a 304 ml or 339 ml but not, for example, a 325 ml. I know of one woman whose implants are in the region of 800 ml (definitely not for me). The tissue expansion process I've been going through has helped me judge size, but it's still a guessing game because the shape of the tissue expanders is different from the shape of the implants. The expanders are designed to push straight out because their function, after all, is to stretch muscle and skin. And the implants have a little droop because their function, after all, is to mimic a breast. So 300 ml in the tissue expander sticks out a lot farther than 300 ml in a silicone implant. And then there's the fact that implants have narrow, medium and wide bases, and high, medium, and low profiles. So the same volume looks vastly different from one model to the next.
And then there's the me factor: I'm built with a broad ribcage and a wide sternum, which means that where I should have cleavage, I in fact have a valley big enough to land a jet plane.
I read a suggestion on the internet to fill a plastic bag with an equivalent amount of rice (or in my case, cous-cous) to judge your implant size. So I measured out 339 ml of cous-cous... but then what? It's comical, really, only if I choose the wrong size, it's not like I can exchange them (well, I could, but that would mean another surgery and I doubt insurance would consider "oops" a medically necessary justification).
This past week I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Doezie - outpatient surgery to get my silicone implants will be on June 15th.
The big (ha, ha) question is: what size? It's not as straightforward as one might think. Should I stay exactly the same as I was before? I don't think they make implants that small ;)
So here's a confession: I am going to be a bit bigger. But just a bit. My previous bra size was 36B, but I didn't fill it out (in reality I was probably a 37A). So I decided I wanted to look the same way I did when I was wearing the 36B, only without the bra. Because the implant is under muscle, not just skin, and because I'll still be a relatively small size, I won't have to wear a bra anymore (yippee).
The implants come in set sizes and are measured in milliliters. So I can have a 304 ml or 339 ml but not, for example, a 325 ml. I know of one woman whose implants are in the region of 800 ml (definitely not for me). The tissue expansion process I've been going through has helped me judge size, but it's still a guessing game because the shape of the tissue expanders is different from the shape of the implants. The expanders are designed to push straight out because their function, after all, is to stretch muscle and skin. And the implants have a little droop because their function, after all, is to mimic a breast. So 300 ml in the tissue expander sticks out a lot farther than 300 ml in a silicone implant. And then there's the fact that implants have narrow, medium and wide bases, and high, medium, and low profiles. So the same volume looks vastly different from one model to the next.
And then there's the me factor: I'm built with a broad ribcage and a wide sternum, which means that where I should have cleavage, I in fact have a valley big enough to land a jet plane.
I read a suggestion on the internet to fill a plastic bag with an equivalent amount of rice (or in my case, cous-cous) to judge your implant size. So I measured out 339 ml of cous-cous... but then what? It's comical, really, only if I choose the wrong size, it's not like I can exchange them (well, I could, but that would mean another surgery and I doubt insurance would consider "oops" a medically necessary justification).
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Not Much
10 Weeks and a Bit
Just some odds and ends to report. Last week I had what was probably my final physical therapy appointment - I'll carry on with my exercises at home. My range of motion is, I think, back to normal, with only minor discomfort when I really stretch.
I had my 4th follow-up visit with Dr. Kushner this week, and it was pretty straightforward. Everything is looking good. He'd like to check up on me again in September, but I think our relationship is coming to an end.
Next week I have my pre-op appointment with Dr. Doezie, the last one before the surgery to swap out the tissue expanders for the implants.
I've added some links and resources to the blog, just in case some other breast cancer patient stumbles upon it looking for information.
Just some odds and ends to report. Last week I had what was probably my final physical therapy appointment - I'll carry on with my exercises at home. My range of motion is, I think, back to normal, with only minor discomfort when I really stretch.
I had my 4th follow-up visit with Dr. Kushner this week, and it was pretty straightforward. Everything is looking good. He'd like to check up on me again in September, but I think our relationship is coming to an end.
Next week I have my pre-op appointment with Dr. Doezie, the last one before the surgery to swap out the tissue expanders for the implants.
I've added some links and resources to the blog, just in case some other breast cancer patient stumbles upon it looking for information.
Monday, May 16, 2011
2 Months
9 Weeks Post-op
Just over 2 months since my surgery. Just over 3 since the diagnosis. It sounds like such a short period of time, but so much has happened. I suppose any great period of change has odd time warps: slow and fast, long and short.
Today's post is just a quick update. Last week marked a milestone: my first week without doctor's appointments since January. Although today I did have a physical therapy session - probably my last one. Doing my exercises has dramatically improved my ability to use my arms, and now it's really just a question of staying with the program.
The Dust
Last week was Booth Pick for the Sawdust - an event causing me great anxiety because my lottery draw meant I might not get a booth for the summer show. And not getting a booth for the summer show would be the financial equivalent of losing my job on top of everything else. However, I did get a space. And so the madness that is being an artist in the Sawdust Art Festival begins....
Just over 2 months since my surgery. Just over 3 since the diagnosis. It sounds like such a short period of time, but so much has happened. I suppose any great period of change has odd time warps: slow and fast, long and short.
Today's post is just a quick update. Last week marked a milestone: my first week without doctor's appointments since January. Although today I did have a physical therapy session - probably my last one. Doing my exercises has dramatically improved my ability to use my arms, and now it's really just a question of staying with the program.
The Dust
Last week was Booth Pick for the Sawdust - an event causing me great anxiety because my lottery draw meant I might not get a booth for the summer show. And not getting a booth for the summer show would be the financial equivalent of losing my job on top of everything else. However, I did get a space. And so the madness that is being an artist in the Sawdust Art Festival begins....
Friday, April 29, 2011
A Maze of Mini Meltdowns
Day 46 Post-Op
In the spirit of full disclosure (which has been, after all, one of the purposes of this blog), I have to say that it has been a very difficult week, emotionally. I found myself in a state where just about anything would make me cry. Even though my brain was saying "be reasonable, this is not that bad," tears were leaking out and serious nose-blowing had to be done. Is it a cumulative effect of pressures I didn't even know I was feeling, or just a run-of-the-mill bout of self-pity? I don't know.
Mostly, I think it's work-related pressure. Being a self-employed craftsperson (a jeweler), this illness has taken a sledgehammer to my productivity. I am entering the time of the year when I make the vast majority of my small income, and I am far behind on creating my work. I find myself here, Friday evening, beating myself up because I haven't made a single piece this week, and then I think about my schedule and realize why:
1. I spent most of Monday driving to LA and back, because I needed to drop off some waxes for casting, and one of them was so delicate I couldn't think of a way to safely package it for shipping. Then I went to the support group in the evening.
2. I have had 4 medical appointments this week (5 if one includes the support group), all on different days. But hey, one of them wasn't cancer-related: I had my semi-annual dental cleaning. Although, because of my surgery, I had to remember to take antibiotics before and after the appointment.
3. This week's visit to Dr. Doezie for the final fill of the tissue expanders meant another lost day, because the aches & pains after a fill make me mostly useless for 24-48 hours.
4. I made a special trip to my engraver, because I needed an inscription done on a pair of custom wedding rings I'd made several months ago, and I was unwilling to let the rings out of my possession. The engraver had agreed to do it while I waited, but when I arrived I found that he had a problem with his machine, and it hadn't occurred to him to call me and tell me not to come.
5. I was called in this morning at very short notice to substitute teach a jewelry class at the Sawdust Studio Art Classes, and knowing it was important to them to NOT cancel the class, I gave up my plans to spend the morning working in my studio.
6. And a bunch of other time-sucking stuff. Such as arguing with a company that charged me twice for the same thing. Which I discovered when I was checking to see if my credit card company had sent my new card, since the current one expires this month and the replacement had not arrived. I get 42 offers a day to sign up for new credit cards, but it seems that the one I DO have failed to notice that the card was expiring, so in fact, they had not sent me a new one.
What's Next
In my current over-expanded mammary state, I am far more self-conscious of my appearance than I was immediately following the mastectomy, when I had a nearly-flat chest. And, as I've mentioned before, the tissue expanders are hard and uncomfortable. So I'm anxious to get them swapped out for the silicone implants, which everyone promises me will be soft & comfortable & not stick out like grapefruits. Medically, this could happen in a month. However, scheduling issues between Dr. Doezie & Mission Hospital delayed the surgery date to June 8th, which is the day before I'm supposed to be setting up for a show in Santa Monica. As much as I might like to, I cannot afford to withdraw from the show, so the next available date was June 15th. Which is during the most stressful and overloaded week of the year for me - the week before the Sawdust Art Festival's Preview Party. Preview Party is the private opening night, 2 days before the official opening. And the official opening means that I will be working 90 hours a week or more, without a day off, until the end of August (the show is open 10 am - 10 pm EVERY day).
That is, assuming I get into the Sawdust Art Festival this summer. To make a complicated situation simple, I'll just say that booth assignments are done on a lottery system - the luck of the draw. And my lottery number this year is horrible - the worst one I've had yet. So horrible that I am unlikely to get a space in the show unless someone agrees to let me share theirs. I've been trying for the past 3 months to find someone who will help me out, so far without success. And the constant rejection has really been hard to take. Sniff.
In the spirit of full disclosure (which has been, after all, one of the purposes of this blog), I have to say that it has been a very difficult week, emotionally. I found myself in a state where just about anything would make me cry. Even though my brain was saying "be reasonable, this is not that bad," tears were leaking out and serious nose-blowing had to be done. Is it a cumulative effect of pressures I didn't even know I was feeling, or just a run-of-the-mill bout of self-pity? I don't know.
Mostly, I think it's work-related pressure. Being a self-employed craftsperson (a jeweler), this illness has taken a sledgehammer to my productivity. I am entering the time of the year when I make the vast majority of my small income, and I am far behind on creating my work. I find myself here, Friday evening, beating myself up because I haven't made a single piece this week, and then I think about my schedule and realize why:
1. I spent most of Monday driving to LA and back, because I needed to drop off some waxes for casting, and one of them was so delicate I couldn't think of a way to safely package it for shipping. Then I went to the support group in the evening.
2. I have had 4 medical appointments this week (5 if one includes the support group), all on different days. But hey, one of them wasn't cancer-related: I had my semi-annual dental cleaning. Although, because of my surgery, I had to remember to take antibiotics before and after the appointment.
3. This week's visit to Dr. Doezie for the final fill of the tissue expanders meant another lost day, because the aches & pains after a fill make me mostly useless for 24-48 hours.
4. I made a special trip to my engraver, because I needed an inscription done on a pair of custom wedding rings I'd made several months ago, and I was unwilling to let the rings out of my possession. The engraver had agreed to do it while I waited, but when I arrived I found that he had a problem with his machine, and it hadn't occurred to him to call me and tell me not to come.
5. I was called in this morning at very short notice to substitute teach a jewelry class at the Sawdust Studio Art Classes, and knowing it was important to them to NOT cancel the class, I gave up my plans to spend the morning working in my studio.
6. And a bunch of other time-sucking stuff. Such as arguing with a company that charged me twice for the same thing. Which I discovered when I was checking to see if my credit card company had sent my new card, since the current one expires this month and the replacement had not arrived. I get 42 offers a day to sign up for new credit cards, but it seems that the one I DO have failed to notice that the card was expiring, so in fact, they had not sent me a new one.
What's Next
In my current over-expanded mammary state, I am far more self-conscious of my appearance than I was immediately following the mastectomy, when I had a nearly-flat chest. And, as I've mentioned before, the tissue expanders are hard and uncomfortable. So I'm anxious to get them swapped out for the silicone implants, which everyone promises me will be soft & comfortable & not stick out like grapefruits. Medically, this could happen in a month. However, scheduling issues between Dr. Doezie & Mission Hospital delayed the surgery date to June 8th, which is the day before I'm supposed to be setting up for a show in Santa Monica. As much as I might like to, I cannot afford to withdraw from the show, so the next available date was June 15th. Which is during the most stressful and overloaded week of the year for me - the week before the Sawdust Art Festival's Preview Party. Preview Party is the private opening night, 2 days before the official opening. And the official opening means that I will be working 90 hours a week or more, without a day off, until the end of August (the show is open 10 am - 10 pm EVERY day).
That is, assuming I get into the Sawdust Art Festival this summer. To make a complicated situation simple, I'll just say that booth assignments are done on a lottery system - the luck of the draw. And my lottery number this year is horrible - the worst one I've had yet. So horrible that I am unlikely to get a space in the show unless someone agrees to let me share theirs. I've been trying for the past 3 months to find someone who will help me out, so far without success. And the constant rejection has really been hard to take. Sniff.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Keepin' On
6 Weeks Post Op
Six weeks doesn't sound like a long time, yet it seems a lifetime since my mastectomy. I'm diligently doing my physical therapy exercises, and seeing good improvements from them. Some days they are easier than others.
I attended my second support group meeting tonight - there were a few newcomers, and it reinforced what I felt the first time I went: the group is as much about helping someone else as it is about helping yourself.
Show Us Your Bra
It's time for another piece of art from the "Show Us Your Bra" calendar that Daria gave me - this one is called "Chosen 2 B Beautiful" and the artist is Anwar Robinson:
Six weeks doesn't sound like a long time, yet it seems a lifetime since my mastectomy. I'm diligently doing my physical therapy exercises, and seeing good improvements from them. Some days they are easier than others.
I attended my second support group meeting tonight - there were a few newcomers, and it reinforced what I felt the first time I went: the group is as much about helping someone else as it is about helping yourself.
Show Us Your Bra
It's time for another piece of art from the "Show Us Your Bra" calendar that Daria gave me - this one is called "Chosen 2 B Beautiful" and the artist is Anwar Robinson:
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